Covid Loss

Disclaimer: this post is not addressing the loss of life related to covid-19. If you have experienced the loss of loved ones around you, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your pain.

This year, so far, has been one of the most challenging ones many of us have faced. As more people present as Covid-positive around us, we find ourselves having to cancel plans, trace contacts and be listed as other people’s positive contacts. We find ourselves canceling visits that we were longing for. We might even find ourselves back in self isolation or quarantine.

My family and I have been in lockdown for a week or so before the official first day of lockdown so we are well into the 100 days by now. Since then, aside from the hard lockdown of level 5 and 4, we have experienced an additional 2 week quarantine due to a possible Covid positive contact. In the end, that turned out to be a false positive, but we only found out after the 2 week quarantine was over. We had just returned to a more “fluid” version of life before we found ourselves in another locked down scenario. Thankfully, at this stage we are healthy and well and have not been the covid-positive case as yet. But, this pattern has taken it’s toll and ignited emotions akin to those mentioned in my previous post about pandemic panic. It has also made it very clear that the pandemic is getting closer to home and with that, come some emotions too.

What has been the hardest thing for us in this time?

Well, for our family, it has by far been the loss of family time. It is something I am grieving, and the longer we are in this space, the more it hurts. I am grieving the loss of family knowing my children in this phase of their lives. They are little for such a short space of time, and this phase is being experienced by us alone. I am grieving the village to help raise them in a balanced way. Can you relate?

I know that this will pass. And I know that we will make up for what has been lost.

And I know that there is always hope.

But, I will allow myself the space to grieve - because it is sore - and the healthiest thing I can do is feel it rather than push it under the rug.

If you find yourself in this position, please reach out and express your hurts to someone. Pop me an email. Give someone a call. Journal. Go for a walk. Do whatever you need to today.