TANTRUMS {part one}
Moms and dads, I know your time is precious. I tried to make this shorter. But struggled to. So, I am going to do installments. Here is part one. Grab a cuppa and have a quick read…
What are temper tantrums?
Temper tantrums are a common expression of emotions in pre-school children and typically happen between the ages of 1 and 3. Read that again moms and dads – they are a common expression of emotion. You are not alone.
They can take the form of an emotional outburst (screaming, crying, yelling etc), or a physical reaction (kicking, lying on the floor etc). Some children have breathe spells when they tantrum, which is when they hold their breath for a few seconds (this can result in them going blue for a few seconds which is very stressful for parents. If this happens to your child, read more here and seek help if needed).
A tantrum is purposeful in that it is happening because your child wants to achieve something with that action - i.e. to get something he wants/needs from you (rational thinking does not necessarily feature here). A child can often stop and start the tantrum depending on the reaction they get.
How is a tantrum different to a meltdown?
I think we use the word meltdown quite casually to refer to tantrum that reached epic proportions, but they are actually two different things.
A meltdown, at first glance, might look the same as a tantrum. Unlike a tantrum which is an outburst, a meltdown is due to feeling overwhelmed. Typically, a meltdown is caused by a sensory overload and the child having a meltdown feels out of control. A child who is having a meltdown is struggling to regulate how they are feeling in that moment and can't “just calm down.” They have the potential to harm themselves too in that state. They often need intervention to de-escalate, and/or for the offensive sensory input to be removed.
So -
Is your child reacting in order to achieve something they want? is there a goal to their behaviour? If yes, then it is probably a tantrum (but be careful, it might become a meltdown if not addressed effectively - blog post coming)
Does your child seem to be in control of their emotions? If yes, it is more likely to be a tantrum.
For a more comprehensive comparison click here.
For the next post {Tantrum Tools} click here.
For the final post in the series on {When to seek help} click here.
NOTE: This blog post is not intended to diagnose or provide professional help. Please contact me or your nearest health care provider for assistance if needed. This article is a collection of thoughts, intended to support moms and dads in their parenting journey. It is not a complete reflection of the body of information out there on tantrums, but only a subjective portion thereof.
Sources:
Fetsch, R.J. & Jacobson, B. (date unkown). Children’s anger and tantrums. Retrieved January 2019 from
https://extension.colostate.edu/docs/pubs/consumer/10248.pdf
Morin, A. (date unknown). The difference between tantrums and sensory overload. Retrieved February 2019 from https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/the-difference-between-tantrums-and-sensory-meltdowns
Tantrums: why they happen and how to respond. Retrieved January 2019 from
https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/crying-tantrums/tantrums